29 September 2021
On the subject of if I'm mad and it's directed at you...
Hey girl I wanted to write to you if I’m ever mad at you.
I want you to read this then because I really want you to know that being a mother is so dichotomous. I can be mad at you for not listening to me, or for making a choice that I wouldn’t have made… but that feeling of anger will always pass because the more important thing to me is - and will always be that you’re your own person and that you’re not a carbon copy of me.
And it will always be so impressive to me that you’re your own person. That you have your own values, and priorities. And that you believe in them so much that you’ll fight me for them.
And while it may it’s always going to be frustrating to me when they don’t align with mine, you sticking to your own values is more important to me than you just agreeing with me always or doing exactly what I say. Especially because that would be so boring 😉 but anyway…
So I just wanted you to know that if I’m ever mad with you, if it appears that way anyway, I want to explicitly say that I’m merely frustrated at the situation. It is never about you as an individual or your identity or anything like that. It’s purely the circumstance. It will always pass because I will always value you sticking to what’s important to you rather than bending to to my will or just blindly doing what I feel is is more important at the moment.
So anyway, I just wanted you to know that. Know that I love you, and I will always love you so much more than anyone else in the universe.
P.S. If you’re reading this and your like, that’s great mom, but really this time I just think you hate me. What I did was so bad, or you’ll just never appreciate my decisions. I think you’re wrong. I think I will always value your identity over my control, but if I’m wrong, show me this post to remind me. I am a work in progress too.
❤ your mother