18 September 2020

Dear Laca,

On the subject of men who want to save you...

In college, I met a few boys who thought I needed saving from something.

It’s total bullshit, by the way. You don’t need saving from yourself or from anyone else.

The hero complex is so frustrating because it forces you into the victim role. Would you have been a victim of anything if this random guy hadn’t come along trying to save you?

It’s dysfunction is well known, you should totally read about it if you’re interested.

Karpman drama triangle

You aren’t but 7mo old, but I know you. I know how capable you are because you’re currently doing the hardest thing any of us has to do, and that’s learn how to be a whole ass human without any help.

You already accomplished that, so would I ever believe you need saving? Not likely.

At least in my case, I was just being me. And someone needing to “save” me from myself made me feel like somehow I was wrong. I was doing wrong. Or I should feel bad about who I am. And looking back, none of that was even remotely true. Sure, I was doing whatever I wanted. But I also had a personal code.

Girl, find yourself a value or two you want to live by and let those guide you. Not some asshole shoes probably avoiding his own shit.

❤ your mother