05 April 2021

Dear Laca,

On the subject of microaggressions...

Here’s some things men tend to say and probably don’t realize women wince at (you might not even realize you wince or that it makes you slightly uncomfortable).


Also “you’d be pretty if you smiled more”
Also “resting bitch face” (where not smiling is considered bitchy)

This is a microaggression because telling someone how to act simulates a child being scolded by an adult. It introduces an artificial power dynamic.

Wear-and-tear… this normalized you feeling like you need to act differently just because someone else had the idea that you should. (you don’t)

“You’ll want kids someday!”

Besides being heteronormative, this is a microaggression because it implies that you can’t escape the inevitability of childbearing. It forces you

Making fun of women for liking foreplay

There’s a lot of sexually making fun of women. Foreplay and snuggling come to mind. So if any boys try that bs just remember, that the only women who need foreplay are the ones who’s sexual partner gets off wayyyy too fast. That should take that toxic masculinity down a few notches.

I have more, so TBC.

❤ your mother